As a note....I am only leaving this post up for a temporary period of time. A few individuals have asked me about the funeral, and I kind of felt torn about what I should do. Ferrell was my aunt and I felt it more appropriate to let the incredible Farnsworth family put out information about their mother as they deemed appropriate. However, I also felt bad that there were others who were not able to attend, that might want to know how the funeral was. As a result, I will temporarily post a few pictures and notes from my perspective. Others who attended probably have a much deeper and clearer view of the events surrounding Ferrell's funeral. I apologize for the weakness of my words to fully convey the beautiful spirit felt that day. Touching remarks from the family, and the overall feeling of love that existed cannot be done justice here. Perhaps one of the Farnsworth family will capture appropriately, all that took place.
I had just learned of Ferrell's passing on Wednesday, and that the funeral would be on Saturday in New Mexico. I flew into SLC late Thursday night, Michele and I packed the truck, and Friday we headed out on what may be the last time we ever visit Fruitland New Mexico.
Ferrell's obituary had requested anyone who had sung in a choir with, or under Ferrell's direction, to come an hour early to the church. A choir practice would be held with those individuals to sing two choir arraignments that Ferrell had loved, "Faith in Every Footstep, & Battle Hymn of the Republic.
Michele and I did not plan to sing, but showed up early to spend a little extra time with those we might know or remember.
As we walked into the Church, it was filled with what sounded like the voices of 2,000 people singing those songs. We were drawn into the Chapel to see who was there singing. What had sounded like thousands, was probably closer 40 or 50, with Mori playing the Organ & her daughter on one piano, and another family member on another piano. I have sat in the Tabernacle dozens of times and listened to the Choir and organ in all their power. The music made in this Chapel on this day sounded identical. I had a hard time containing my emotions as they worked their way through the Battle Hymn of the Republic....and this was the rehearsal! When they finished, the majority of the choir had become emotional and Ren who was directing, commented to them that his mother was there listening and weeping with them.
We made our way to the viewing room when Ferrell's body arrived. The room was packed with family, friends, and people who had all been touched by Ferrell's love in their life. Ferrell's cousin, Jay Ferrell, had driven down and was trying to greet as many people as possible. He commented to me SEVERAL times throughout the day that he couldn't understand what a beautiful girl like Michele was doing with a guy like me. I kind of had to agree with him. He wisely noted that we (me and him) had both married up in life. More stories about Jay will come.....he was full of them this day.
The casket Ferrell's body now rested in was built by her son Mark. One of Ferrell's last requests of him before she died was that he would do this. Mark fully honored his mothers request by creating the most beautiful casket of polished wood. I spoke with him about it, and he felt like he hadn't had enough time to finish everything on it the way he wanted, but from my perspective NOBODY would know. It was completed with the most expert craftsmanship and care. This was a labor of pure love from him and as he expressed it, an honor for him to perform. Even in her death, Ferrell knew how to get the absolute best from her children.
The funeral opened with Mori directing the choir and Ren accompanying the song "Faith in Every Footstep". It set the tone for what was to come.
Instead of reading an obituary, Mori and Ren stood together at the pulpit and took turns telling Ferrell's life history, and filled it with stories from their lifetime full of memories with their mother.
They reflected on Ferrell's youth, and one story Mori didn't tell at the funeral but told me later. Ferrell and her cousin Jay were working at Saratoga Springs in Lehi Utah one summer. At the end of one particular day, Jay went in to an outdoor changing booth to get out of his swimming suit. Mischievous Ferrell snuck over and grabbed Jay's cloths and took off running with them. Jay, not to be deterred by a little bare skin, took off after Ferrell...and tackeled her.....while not wearing a stitch of clothing (which was all in Ferrell's now screaming hands). She ran off yelling, he got his cloths back, and the rest is now a family treasure story to be told for generations to come.
Mori and Ren spoke about her unusual name, and getting her mission call addressed to ELDER Ferrell Madsen. To arrive and find out she was scheduled to sleep with other Elders. They spoke of her love for the Mexican people and some personal stories from her mission. They spoke of when she came home and went to work as a secretary for Mark E Peterson of the 12 Apostles. One story of Ferrell's dogged determination happened while she was working there. She was asked by Elder Peterson to not let anyone disturb him the remainder of a particular afternoon, as he was working on a message he was giving in a publication. Ferrell received a phone call from someone wanting to speak to Elder Peterson, and she informed the caller that Elder Peterson was not taking any calls or interruptions. When the caller pressed harder, Ferrel pushed back in her own way. The caller started giving her a hard time about being such a watchdog and that he REALLY needed to talk with Elder Peterson. Finally she told the caller, it would take someone with a whole lot more authority then he had to get to speak to Elder Peterson, and the caller finally said ok, but would you take a message. "Please tell Elder Peterson to call President David O McKay when he is done" and hung up the phone. Ferrell was aghast, and immediately told Elder Peterson that President McKay needed him to call. Soon Elder Peterson told Ferrell that he had some papers to give to President McKay and that she needed to deliver them personally. She tried to get another office worker to deliver them, but he said no, she needed to deliver them personally. Ferrell made her way to the presidents office and hoped to leave them with the secretary. But when she arrived at the office, the secretary said...."go right on in, he's waiting for you". As she walked thru his doorway, she heard....."So Your The One". He got a good laugh, Ferrell had heart failure.
It was to Elder Peterson's office that a young man came one day. A returned missionary who just so happened to speak Spanish. Ferrell and this young man managed to strike up a conversation that apparently didn't really ever end. Two months after meeting him, they were married and Ferrell was soon off to find the place she would call home for the remainder of her life, in New Mexico.
Mori and Ren spoke of what a hard worker Ferrell was on the farm, not letting the fact she was a girl keep her from doing any of he tasks a man could do.
She taught Piano to hundreds of children from around the area, She felt it was her calling to fill this small New Mexico valley with music, and so she did.
At the end of their talk, Ren announced that they would be taking Omer to Utah that afternoon and if anyone from New Mexico wanted to say good bye, they would have to do it quickly.
Mark spoke of the love he had for his mother. He reminded us of the tough taskmaster both of his parents could be, and gave several examples to emphasize this fact. He noted particularly how tough his father could be, and shared a story from that very morning. An elderly man that had known Ferrell and Omer most of their time in New Mexico had greeted Omer that morning at the viewing with the reminder to Omer that he was "Damn lucky Ferrell had stayed with him all these years". And then they both shared a laugh and embraced. Mark spoke of the true love his mother had for others, and the gifts she gave and shared that most would people would never know about. He told a story of one evening when his mother was planning to try and put on a talent show in what he called the po-dunk town of Farmington New Mexico. She was trying to get enough people to participate. On this particular evening she asked Mark if he would sing at the event. Now, Mark feels he is NOT the musically talented member of the family and was sure his mother had lost her mind. He told her no. She asked again and he told her he didn't want to do it. In her motherly way she said...."I didn't ask if you wanted to, I asked if you would". Mark's love of his mother and his desire to honor her request overcame him, and he said he would do it.
As her death approached, she again made two requests of him. 1) To make the casket her body now laid in. 2) that he would sing a song at her funeral. The casket was completed, and now he would try and honor her 2nd request. Mark is not someone who goes around singing for others. I'm sure he wondered if he could even make it through this last request of his mom's. I didn't, and don't, know the name of the song. Mark's voice was perhaps a bit husky and wavering as he started. I could see myself telling my mom to forget it had she asked me the same thing. But here he was, doing what was actually probably harder than creating the casket. I didn't pay too much attention at first, it seemed like an old time song about a man loving his wife, her smile, her face. There are several versus to the song. It progresses as the man and women of the song grow older, and the love the man still has for his wife as age comes on, and perceived beauty wanes. The song concludes as they are both in their final years and he sings to her how much he loves her, her thinning smile and wrinkled face. I don't know how Mark held it together thru the song. The entire audience was weeping quietly as he finished. A mothers request honored.
Then came the performance of the Battle Hymn of the Republic as the closing song. The organ, two piano's, and the voices coming from both earth and heaven, fully overwhelmed the size of the Chapel. From somewhere beyond, other choirs joined in and honored Ferrell with this final send off. As the final Amen rang out and the last note sounded, I'm sure a now red headed lady somewhere in the room had to be as Awed as we were. It was the perfect last note to her life so richly and fully lived.
I don't know if the Farnsworth's requested this,or not. But there was no herse or morticians in any part of this event. After the funeral finished, the grandsons surrounded the casket and carried it out to the family van where the casket was placed inside. We all made the short drive from the Church over to the cemetery. I don't know if the local police do this for everyone, but the main highway running from Shiprock to Farmington was shut down in both directions while we made our way across this highway and over to Ferrell's final resting place. From the number of cars backed up, I assume that it must have been shut down as soon as the funeral ended.
The family van showed up at the cemetery and again the grandsons carried the casket to the burial spot. Omer, limited to his wheelchair for several years now, dedicated the grave. It was done in pure Omer fashion. He got the dedication part taken care of quickly, then prayed us a sermon about how to live our lives and honored Ferrell with his words. As he finished, the warm New Mexico afternoon gave way to a cooling breeze thru the quiet valley of Fruitland.
A nice dinner was provided by the ward after the funeral. Special conversations were shared between cousins regarding the Madsens, and the fun reunion that must surely be taking place.
Afterwards, we made our way over to the Farnsworth home. Mark built a side room onto the main house for Ferrell and Omer. So now there is a nice courtyard outside where we were able to continue to share stories and feelings with one another. Ferrell's cousin Jay (is he really 85 years old??) decided to hang out with us "young" cousins and share stories of his own. He told us how he and his wife were racing down from Utah and somewhere in the middle of the state he was pulled over for speeding. The officer asked him where he was going in such a hurry...and he told him to a funeral. The officer commented back, "If you don't slow down, you'll be going to your own funeral"!
Ren and his family packed up all of Omer's things and got ready to take him to his new home. Finally by 9:00pm Michele and were spiritually and physically exhausted. We hugged and wished everyone goodbye....until the next time.
After attending each funeral, I always ask myself what my funeral is going to be like. Have I done anything while chasing the sun around the horizon that matters? Have I in any way done enough good to make up for all the things I seem to mess up. Who knows in the end, but on this weekend, I got to see a brief glimpse of what makes a person's life rich and full. Ferrell didn't have the great honors that the world might recognize in the way of plaques, awards, recognitions, fortune or fame. However, it was the personal gifts & talents she shared with others, the time she dedicated to her family, the love given from her heart to everyone she touched. It is these precious things that will be our legacy, or our regret. Thank you Ferrell for reminding me to see just what the real important things are in this life.
